I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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