She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
