R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
