my mouth tastes like poor choices
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
True college students do jello shots in the library
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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