where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
kristin has been a bad kristin
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Randomize
