You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
