I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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