kristin has been a bad kristin
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
