I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
