I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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