Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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