You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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