sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
