i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
