I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
