I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Actions speak louder than pants.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
