i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
