I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
