it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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