So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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