I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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