Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Verdict: uncircumcised.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
