So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
