just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize