It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
