Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
