im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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