do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
