She is in my trunk
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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