Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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