Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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