I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
youre lurking in front of me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
NoShamevember. You game?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
