so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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