Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
