im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize