i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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