how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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