I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize