Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I AM VODKA MAN
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
