you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
