R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
