i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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