Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
