hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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