HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
from now on my penis is your penis
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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