C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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