ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
