So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
