I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
