you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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