FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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