are you still at the devil's house?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
