I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
