So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
