On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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