And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
