Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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