you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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