apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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