I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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