He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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