i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
