He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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