can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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