I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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